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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?